The Velcro Jungle

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Fashion mistakes can jump out at me at any given time, even when I least expect it.  I strolled down my block earlier this evening to get some dinner at one of my favorite take out places.  As I was waiting in line I noticed a rather handsome man standing in front of me.  Of course I could not say hi and turn on the flirt because I was not looking my best but that is a whole other story.  Just as I was admiring his chic leather shoes and crisp fall jacket, he pulled out of his pocket a…


My jaw dropped in disbelief.  What was this guy thinking?  His one fashion faux pas ruined my positive impression of him.  I swear I almost said something.  Doesn’t he have a girlfriend or a partner of some kind to show him the way?  And by show him the way I mean out of the Velcro jungle and into the grown up world of chic sophistication.  I was so amazed that he was sporting a Velcro wallet I didn’t even catch the design on it, but let’s face it, the design may as well of been Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.   Guys, please read carefully here.  If you are on a date or anywhere for that matter and you pull out a Velcro wallet you may as well be wearing a sign that says “my mom still does my laundry, I play World of Warcraft and I’ve never been laid.”  After the age of 10 you should never own a Velcro wallet again.  Even those corny yet durable Mighty Wallets are superior to a Velcro number.   My best suggestion if you are in the market for a new wallet is to get over to a Coach store.  I love their wallets and have given them as gifts to several of my boyfriends.  I promise you, the Coach wallet is a hit every time. To sum up what I am talking about with a pop culture video reference, watch this funny clip from Crazy Stupid Love.   

Quick Aside: My talented literary agent emailed me an article today written about men’s “Must Haves” for fall. It is definitely worth a read so check it out at Refinery29.

2 comments on “The Velcro Jungle

  1. Sleepless on 12th Street says:

    Agreed- Velcro wallets are so childish! Plus, they make that awful noise when opened. It’s like “thanks for paying for dinner, buddy, but the whole restaurant doesn’t need to hear it!”

  2. You are too funny Sleepless on 12th Street. So true- I should have mentioned the pathetic noise Velcro wallets make. It just adds to the general dislike of the wallets. And great quote…I hope neither one of us find ourselves on a date with a guy sporting the V Wallet!


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