Lasting Impressions

Personally, Holidays are not for me.  I am not much of a birthday/anniversary person either but that is a story for another day. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not one for tradition and definitely not what one might call traditional. I just can’t stand forced celebration and mandatory gatherings.  The whole thing stresses me out.  I always just want to stay home alone in my apartment and hide under the covers during holidays, but like most people I feel a sense of obligation and often wind up going to a family member’s home so that I can roll my eyes and hope the meal goes quickly and painlessly.  So, here I present the sometimes controversial topic of…

HOLIDAY ATTIRE

I have been to many holiday meals in my day and people treat holidays differently from family to family.  The thing is guys; you have to get dressed on the holidays.  Some men feel that if they are the ones hosting the holiday they are allowed to dress down, and they are dead wrong.  If you are hosting a holiday gathering you should be the best dressed one there.  Over the years many men have told me, “I just want to wear sweats and watch football.”  This is so barbaric to me and absolutely not sexy.  As much as we want to treat holidays like any other Sunday afternoon, we can’t.  So do not just toss on an outfit from the hamper that you would wear on any Sunday afternoon.  A lot of men like to wear softer pants so that there is room for more food.  Gross! Wear normal pants and don’t eat like a pig! At the very minimum, (and I really mean minimum) you should wear a fitted sleek polo shirt and your nicest pair of jeans.  Holidays are not the time for sweats, T-shirts, and white socks.  So don’t be such a lazy piece of shit and get dressed.  For some people the holidays are the only time of year that they see family.  Make a good impression that will last all year.

Quick Aside:  Holidays are not the time to be fashionably experimental.  You don’t want people saying for years to come, “Remember that Thanksgiving years ago when cousin Joey wore that outfit that made him look like he owned a chocolate factory…hahahahahaha”  Families have a way of reminding you of your most embarrassing moments and poorest choices… FOREVER, so don’t give them any ammunition.

Carte Blanche

Photo Credit: http://www.ehow.com

On any given day I’ll walk by a dozen gyms/yoga studios/fitness centers and the like.  Of course I always promise myself that one day I am going to be one of those people avidly working out day after day.  But alas, I am more the “order take-out and bitch about being out of shape” kind.  Although I do get myself to a yoga class every now and again, I don’t work out nearly as much as I should.  But there was a time in my life when I did.  Where is this rambling going?  Where else, but the topic of…

WORK OUT WEAR

In late September a reader, “Shirtless in the City” asked me about this very topic in response to my post about which clothes need to be retired and when.  He said he creates a gym pile for clothes that are no longer suitable for outings and/or work.  I will almost always say that when it comes to clothing you get what you pay for so spend your money wisely.  On the contrary however, when it comes to work out attire you don’t have to break the bank.  Just make sure you are comfortable and wearing breathable material.  But of course try to wear something that accentuates your best body features. When it’s time to sweat you still need to be cautious.  It is ok to wear and older T-shirt and a pair of worn sweats or shorts.  However, in terms of gym clothes; holes, rips, stains, and wrinkles need not apply.  Just because you are at the gym and getting sweaty does not give you carte blanche to look like hell.  And let’s be honest, what kind of people go to the gym?  Usually young, fit, sexy, tan people, (the fat pieces of crap are at home on the couch just thinking about how they wish they had the discipline to work out).  So you never know who you might meet.  You wouldn’t want to unexpectedly run into your boss or a crush looking unkept or dare I say gauche.

Quick Aside:  Please don’t wear spandex pants unless you are a runner, a cyclist or have a body that could be seen on the cover of Men’s Fitness

Pets Not People

Photo Credit: oakorchardcanoe.com

It was another fabulous weekend here in New York City.  Thankfully the weather was cooperating so all the hip and happening folks were out and about.  My friends and I grabbed a late dinner at Mole on the lower west side and then we were off to The Village Tavern for drinks and shenanigans. There were so many young good-looking guys there.  It was one of my friends who noticed first that many men there were wearing…

FLEECE VESTS

What a turn off.  I know I already expressed my feelings on sweater vests but this is a horse of a completely different color.  I know people love fleece.  I am not sure where and when fleece became popular but I blame Old Navy.  I get it: fleece is soft, durable, washable, inexpensive, comes in an array of colors, and so on.  And just like anything else, fleece vests have their place, like on the slopes or camping for example. But for the most part fleece should be worn on pets not people and maybe for the occasional blanket.  Out at night in the city on the weekend is not where they belong.  It really annoys me when I see a guy wearing a nice collared button down shirt with a fleece sweater vest.  That is an incorrect juxtaposition of epic proportions.  You would never wear ripped jeans and a tuxedo jacket would you? No.  I guess the point is, do not mix casual wear with not so casual wear.  It looks awkward and fleece vests just look cheap and dingy. Put on a real jacket or a sweater for crying out loud.

Mountain Man

Last night my friends and I stayed local but had a wild post Halloween/post hurricane good time.  After a fabulous party we stopped at a local bar for a few drinks to wind down the night.  I wound up talking to a bearded guy.  I’ll spare you the details about how the night went with this guy and just ask all readers this question: What is your take on men’s…

FACIAL HAIR

I hate facial hair on men.  I feel it looks dirty, un-kept and lazy.  Some men slack off with shaving during a vacation or on a sluggish Sunday and that is understandable.  But for the most part my advice is to not be such a sloth and just shave.  I comprehend and agree with the mild stubble look and maybe an extremely groomed mustache but that is as far as it goes.  Over the years I have asked a lot of hairy faced men why they don’t shave.  They always say one of two things.  1- “It keeps my face warm” or 2, “It looks cool like John Lennon, Che Guevara, Abe Lincoln, Ernest Hemingway or even Jesus.”   Queue the eye roll.  I can’t stand when people compare themselves to others that they really can’t relate to but that’s a whole other topic.   Facial hair can be really serial killer/child molester creepy ie: Charles Manson, Bin Laden, Hitler, Stalin etc.  Even when I see Brad Pitt sporting that mountain man facial hair look I think he looks like he may as well be wearing shoes made out of duct tape and begging for money outside of the Port Authority.  So unless you are walking around with a blue ox named Babe or you are one of the stars in “Duck Dynasty” do yourself and every person you’ll ever kiss a favor and shave! And, salons are obviously for men too.  For all of you readers that are also New Yorkers check out this link. New York Magazine;Men’s Shaves. And while you are clicking away take a look at this site about What Facial Hair Says About a Man.

Quick Aside:  If you have a beard and it is going gray, you do not look more distinguished you just look old.  Get rid of it gramps.

Dashing in the Rain

Photo Credit: teddybearpages.com

I don’t know about all of you readers out there but I love a good hurricane.  It is so interesting how people react differently.  I heard of some people evacuating days prior and stocking up on food and batteries.  On the other hand I had to walk outside during the storm and saw kids flying kites in high-speed winds and others Bar-B-Que-ing on their apartment balconies.  For me, I look forward to the less desirable damp weather to check out the latest…

RAIN COATS

Now, I know when there is a hurricane, most people are not worried about looking dashing in the rain.  However, here in New York City where style is everything, you can still see some sexy looks during a dreary day.  I first noticed men’s rain gear back in 2005 when I took a trip to London.  Holy Moly do the men dress well across the pond.  All of the men seemed to dress head to toe in designer clothes at any given time.  Anyway, I digress.  For the sexiest rainy day look go for the Burberry Trench coat (black or tan).  It is quite pricey but if you invest in it now and you live in a wet climate, you will wear it for the rest of our life.  For a less expensive option try London Fog; named after the city where the men dress to kill and it rains almost every day.  Also, you may want to check out J. Crew for said trench coats.  Remember, often these items are only sold seasonally.  So you can not show up in November looking for one because they will have out all the winter parkas.  But then again you can always purchase online.  A few more points to consider…

  • While I very much respect people who work in the News Media profession they are always wearing those wind breakers in poor weather and on television no less.  Unless you are a coach, a soccer dad on the sidelines or a college campus tour guide you should not wear the wind breakers in rainy weather or ever.
  • We always look at little kids with fondness dressed in their bright yellow rain jackets.  This look is cute but it is for children and teddy bears.  Do not wear the bright yellow rain coat unless you are the Gorton’s Fisherman guy or Dick Tracy for that matter.
  • To piggy back off of the last point, all jackets made out of plastic, pleather or any other shiny cheap synthetic material are never allowed on any day.

So, the next time it pours or when the next hurricane hits, you want to think London chic and sexy Sherlock Holmes.  That guy always had it right.

Quick Aside: No one ever looked better or was cooler than Humphrey Bogart in the best rainy movie scene.  Notice his chic Trench Coat in this movie clip…Casablanca.