2012 in Review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,500 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

T-Shirt Time

Last night was a real Midtown, Manhattan, bar hopping kind of night.  Holiday drinks with some of my best looking college friends started out at The Glass House Tavern, and then we headed to Hurley’s and ended the night at a hip joint I had never been to before called Lillie’s.  I was so busy tossing back cocktails and having fun that while on my way home I realized that I missed the last episode ever of Jersey Shore.  I know, I know most people would call Jersey Shore trash television but for me it is like a train wreck that you can’t look away from.  I was hooked after the first episode. (as were a lot of people)   I mostly tune in for the guy candy and all of the funny catch phrases.  In honor of the last episode I wanted to dedicated this post to the topic of men who wear

T-SHIRTS ALL THE TIME

Look, I know for men t-shirts are comfortable and sometimes even flattering.  But if you are one of these men who take the phrase “T-shirt time” way too seriously, you are in trouble.  Sadly, I have known men in my time who wear a t-shirt no matter the occasion.  This is a fashion offense of epic proportions.  T-shirts have their place in the world but not every day of the week all year long.  You don’t want to be one of these guys who would wear a t-shirt to prom, or to a wedding, or to a cocktail party.  I am sorry but it just can’t happen.  You need to incorporate more sweaters, vests, polo shirts and of course button downs into your wardrobe.  You know you are in trouble if when people ask what are you planning on wearing and you respond with

Photo Credit: www.fanpop.com

Photo Credit: http://www.fanpop.com

“My best T-shirt” or if you look into your closet right now and you have all your T-shirts lined up on hangers…gross.  I suppose for every rule there is an exception, so here it is.  If you are a man who has, a body like Mike “The Situation”, AND a smile like Pauly D, AND a laugh like Ronnie, AND the boyish charm of Vinny then you can wear whatever you want!   Otherwise clean up your act.

“Looking good and dressing well is a necessity. Having a purpose in life is not.”
– Oscar Wilde

Lasting Impressions

Personally, Holidays are not for me.  I am not much of a birthday/anniversary person either but that is a story for another day. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not one for tradition and definitely not what one might call traditional. I just can’t stand forced celebration and mandatory gatherings.  The whole thing stresses me out.  I always just want to stay home alone in my apartment and hide under the covers during holidays, but like most people I feel a sense of obligation and often wind up going to a family member’s home so that I can roll my eyes and hope the meal goes quickly and painlessly.  So, here I present the sometimes controversial topic of…

HOLIDAY ATTIRE

I have been to many holiday meals in my day and people treat holidays differently from family to family.  The thing is guys; you have to get dressed on the holidays.  Some men feel that if they are the ones hosting the holiday they are allowed to dress down, and they are dead wrong.  If you are hosting a holiday gathering you should be the best dressed one there.  Over the years many men have told me, “I just want to wear sweats and watch football.”  This is so barbaric to me and absolutely not sexy.  As much as we want to treat holidays like any other Sunday afternoon, we can’t.  So do not just toss on an outfit from the hamper that you would wear on any Sunday afternoon.  A lot of men like to wear softer pants so that there is room for more food.  Gross! Wear normal pants and don’t eat like a pig! At the very minimum, (and I really mean minimum) you should wear a fitted sleek polo shirt and your nicest pair of jeans.  Holidays are not the time for sweats, T-shirts, and white socks.  So don’t be such a lazy piece of shit and get dressed.  For some people the holidays are the only time of year that they see family.  Make a good impression that will last all year.

Quick Aside:  Holidays are not the time to be fashionably experimental.  You don’t want people saying for years to come, “Remember that Thanksgiving years ago when cousin Joey wore that outfit that made him look like he owned a chocolate factory…hahahahahaha”  Families have a way of reminding you of your most embarrassing moments and poorest choices… FOREVER, so don’t give them any ammunition.

Carte Blanche

Photo Credit: http://www.ehow.com

On any given day I’ll walk by a dozen gyms/yoga studios/fitness centers and the like.  Of course I always promise myself that one day I am going to be one of those people avidly working out day after day.  But alas, I am more the “order take-out and bitch about being out of shape” kind.  Although I do get myself to a yoga class every now and again, I don’t work out nearly as much as I should.  But there was a time in my life when I did.  Where is this rambling going?  Where else, but the topic of…

WORK OUT WEAR

In late September a reader, “Shirtless in the City” asked me about this very topic in response to my post about which clothes need to be retired and when.  He said he creates a gym pile for clothes that are no longer suitable for outings and/or work.  I will almost always say that when it comes to clothing you get what you pay for so spend your money wisely.  On the contrary however, when it comes to work out attire you don’t have to break the bank.  Just make sure you are comfortable and wearing breathable material.  But of course try to wear something that accentuates your best body features. When it’s time to sweat you still need to be cautious.  It is ok to wear and older T-shirt and a pair of worn sweats or shorts.  However, in terms of gym clothes; holes, rips, stains, and wrinkles need not apply.  Just because you are at the gym and getting sweaty does not give you carte blanche to look like hell.  And let’s be honest, what kind of people go to the gym?  Usually young, fit, sexy, tan people, (the fat pieces of crap are at home on the couch just thinking about how they wish they had the discipline to work out).  So you never know who you might meet.  You wouldn’t want to unexpectedly run into your boss or a crush looking unkept or dare I say gauche.

Quick Aside:  Please don’t wear spandex pants unless you are a runner, a cyclist or have a body that could be seen on the cover of Men’s Fitness

Keep it Clean

There’s nothing like a good sex shop. I’ve been to my fair share over the years and today I combined two of my favorite things and found myself at The Museum of Sex on lower 5th Avenue in Manhattan. The Museum itself is informative and entertaining. Of course one of the best parts is the gift shop. While perusing the store my eyes feasted on an array of items such as dirty Mad Libs, vibrators, condom lollipops and books on the history of pornography. As I arrived at the clothing section I began to think about…

VULGAR CLOTHING

Don’t get me wrong here, during my undergraduate and graduate school days I certainly wrote several papers on first amendment rights as well as my disagreement with censorship. I believe that all people have the right to express themselves. However, while no one should be told what they can and can not wear by law we all need to exercise a little discretion now and then. People who know me will say that I wear my make up like a transvestite, curse like a sailor and have done all kinds of things that have been deemed “out of line.” But I make a point not to wear my bad habits. Even so, I do not believe that anyone should wear clothing with vulgar, obscene or overly sexual images on them. I have seen a lot of this in my day and feel it is quite gauche. You never know if there are kids around who can see you, if you are about to run into your boss or worse; your crush. Not to mention you might really upset or offend someone. Oftentimes I see teenagers with t-shirts that have crude language on them and I want to approach them and ask how their parents let them go out of the house that way. Take it from me; you will never make a good impression (first or otherwise) wearing something with crude and/or inappropriate imagery or text on it. So next time you are browsing in Hot Topic or another alternative type store, stop yourself from reaching for a shirt that says, “10 cent Mustache Rides”, “I Fu**ed a Midget, “Proud Necrophiliac” or anything similar with a distasteful design. When it comes to the topics discussed/illustrated on your clothing, do yourself a favor and keep it clean.

A Good Idea in Theory

Photo Credit: apparelnews.net

It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  Isn’t it amazing how many insane people there are, well, according to this definition?  What bothers me is how many men keep making the same fashion mistakes over and over and thinking they will at some point look chic.  More specifically…

SWEATER VESTS

Almost every store that sells men’s clothing from H & M to Bergdorf Goodman carries sweater vests.  The lesson of the day is; sweater vests are not for every man! Please don’t get me wrong, some men look amazing in them but you need to be aware of whether or not you are one of these men.   I asked a few guys what their take on sweater vests was and I got some interesting opinions.  My go-to-fashion expert said, “Sweater vests are for golf courses and right-wing political failures like Rick Santorum.”  Another guy I asked said, “I think only politicians and people with PhDs in agriculture or history wear them.”  Needless to say, both had very humorous responses.  The rule really is that if you are overweight then the answer is always no to sweater vests.  A lot of men think if they wear a sweater vest it will cover up their gut, but in reality it only makes it worse.  Contrary to the two aforementioned opinions, the sweater vest is not for any specific genre of men.  It really depends on your style and build.  I used to have a boyfriend who was not overweight and very handsome, yet he looked awful in sweater vests.  I did not believe him when he first told me this fashion fact and then he tried one on for me.  No matter what, he just couldn’t make the “sweater vest look” happen.  Looking back, I praise him for being self-aware enough to know this. So please do not continuously wear sweater vests if they do not enhance you in any way.  They look great on the hanger in the store, I know.  But much like Reaganomics or white carpeting; for some men they are only a good idea in theory.

Quick Aside: All girls love and all guys want to be Ferris Bueller ever since his infamous day off back in 1986.  But please, do not go for the “short sleeves under the sweater vest” look if you are over the age of 25.

An Interesting Conversation Piece

Photo Credit: SoSews.com

When we are young it seems every occasion merits a T-shirt.  Now in my late 20’s I am amazed when I see my peers still wearing our elementary school class of 95’ T-shirts.  I know it is difficult to throw them away.  Sentimental value is powerful.  Some people just can’t let go of their T-shirts that say “Mazel Tov: Scott’s Bar Mitzvah”, “Gallagher Clan Family Reunion”, or “I got laid in Hawaii: Spring Break ‘04”  Personally I hate novelty T-shirts, but I can understand the appeal.   Before we go any further, I need to stress my position on this topic, do not wear these T-shirts.  Although they have value in your eyes, you will look like an immature fool who can’t grow up if you wear them. So the question for today is, what we do with all of the….

SENTIMENTAL T-SHIRTS WE’LL NEVER WEAR AGAIN

One of the coolest guys I know I met in college.  We didn’t have superlatives but if we did he would have been voted most popular.  If there was an organization on campus, most likely he was a member.  Student council, fraternity, orientation leader, I even saw him at a meeting of the clay club I went to.  Needless to say he collected a lot of T-shirts over the years.  One day I found myself in his dorm room and I was shocked to see on his bed an entire quilt made out of his old T-shirts.  It was amazing.  All of the cool, funny T-shirts he had collected over the years were in this quilt all sewn together to make an awesome blanket and of course an interesting conversation piece.  Please do not get me wrong, I feel most T-shirts like the ones I mentioned belong in the donation bin, but if you just can’t let them go, give your Nana a call and tell her to dust off the old sewing machine and to organize a reunion of the quilting bee because you have a project for her.