Change It Up Cowboy

Photo Credit: jeanshook.com

Photo Credit: jeanshook.com

Have you ever been so freezing cold you can feel the frost bite migrating throughout your body?  That was how I felt standing in line on Saturday night for a bar in the meatpacking district called 675.  Since when do people stand on line for bars?  All I could think was that they must have been giving out free blow jobs inside because the bouncer was not letting anyone in and not too many folks were coming out. We never made it inside due to hypothermia and impatience.  Although, I walked away intrigued, and I will be back.  We strolled over to Gaslight Lounge not too far away from 675.  Nice crowd, some cute men, and many of them were wearing jeans.  Don’t get me wrong, they were nice jeans and this was meatpacking.  But some men really feel they need to wear

JEANS AT ALL TIMES

Honestly, I have known some men who feel naked if they aren’t wearing denim.  I was never really one for the “nice jeans paired with a blazer or sports jacket” look but I guess it is mildly acceptable. (Downtown only of course)  I know we all like to stay in our comfort zones at times but seriously, “step away from the jeans”  Open yourself up to a world of dress pants, khakis, or dare I say corduroy?!?!  There are other textures out there. Anything, other than jeans all the time.  Everyone loves a good pair of jeans; I have even heard men say they feel that with jeans they can’t go wrong.  This is so foolish, you can go wrong my friends, by wearing jeans like they are your uniform.  Beauty, fashion, and just plain looking good is about more than being comfortable.  So get yourself over to a Bloomingdale’s or a J.Crew or an Express Men or whatever store tickles your fancy (never an Old Navy!) and get yourself a nice pair of pants!  Think about the famous scene from Donnie Brasco when Al Pacino’s character Lefty looks at Johnny Depp’s character Donnie who wears jeans all the time and says something along the lines of, “…go get a pair of pants, this isn’t a f**king rodeo!”  Jeans are allowed; they are comfy, sexy and downright American, they just can not be worn for every occasion possible.  You would not want your crush whispering, “Is that the only pair of pants he owns?” would you? Change it up cowboy!

“I have often said that I wish I had invented blue jeans: the most spectacular, the most practical, the most relaxed and nonchalant.  They have expression, modesty, sex appeal, simplicity – all I hope for in my clothes.”  ~Yves Saint Laurent

 

Photo Credit: www.uproxx.com

Photo Credit: http://www.uproxx.com

Quick Aside: I hope it goes without saying that skinny jeans, tapered jeans, or Cavaricci jeans are never allowed, not even on AC Slater.

Working Way Too Hard

Photo Credit: http://www.123rf.com

For the most part it is women who wear the tighter clothing and men the looser.  Nowadays that is not as much the case.  I was squeezing my not-so-skinny self into a dress today that I am suppose to wear in a wedding two weeks from now and quickly realized that I looked like a stuffed sausage.  Today I was fully aware of how horrible I looked, but I began to think about how many men I see that look awful in clothes that are…

TOO TIGHT

I know skinny jeans are in, and being metro sexual, a hipster, or just trendy is en vogue but there is such a thing as your jeans being too skinny.  Why do I see so many men walking around with neck fat pouring over their collars, bulging crotches, muffin tops, practically exposed flabby man boobs, or the all time worst; bellies pouring out from under a shirt?  No one wants to date guy whose clothes are working way too hard.  Seriously, you need to try on clothes before you buy them and on that note don’t walk around looking like you picked up your outfit in the boys department.  Never ever purchase an article of clothing that is too tight while promising yourself you’ll lose weight.  You’ll wind up keeping the extra pounds and then you’ll love the outfit, squeeze into it anyway and look like a fool.  I have met so many men who hold on to clothes that are too tight in the hopes that one day they will be back to their high school weight or be as thin as they were after recovering from mono.  Dream on! It is never going to happen.  Donate the way-too-skinny stuff and move on with your life.  Don’t be afraid to buy the size that fits you and for the love of all things holy ask a sales person for help.  If you are a bigger guy, wearing clothes that are too small will only make you look larger.  If you are fit, wearing skinny stuff is ok, just make sure what you are wearing does not show us all of your goods.  If you are not sure how skinny is too skinny here is a tip; if you need to lie down on your bed, have another person assist you, or say ten Hail Mary’s before putting something on, it is too tight! Finally, read the labels.  You will be sorry if your favorite shirt becomes the victim of dryer shrinkage or washing machine damage.  There is no going back at that point, you have to say goodbye.

Quick Aside:  If you are broad in the chest and/or shoulders and have trouble finding a dress shirt that fits properly for a decent price, try Express.  They cater to this body type and have the best assortment of colors.