2012 in Review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,500 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

The Ultimate Compromise

Photo Credit: Official Movie Photo, Edward Norton, “American History X”

Thus far, this entire blog has touched on various fashion related topics.  Here I would also like to venture outside the box and write about the overall appearance of men.  Grooming, hygiene, etiquette, the works.  Today’s post is covering one of my all time pet peeves…

THE PEACH FUZZ HAIRCUT

If you are a man with a full head of hair, or even if you don’t have quite a full head, there is no reason to have your head resemble the fuzzy skinned fruit.  I have met, dated and known tons of men who have beautiful hair yet refuse to let it grow; some even getting one haircut per week in order to maintain their bare dome. It is a sin if you ask me.  If you are walking around with the peach fuzz hairdo then you are going to be mistaken as a skin head, an escaped convict, a Buddhist monk or a card carrying member of the KKK.  If that is the look you really want to portray then God Bless.  But seriously, do you honestly want to be associated with Edward Norton’s character in American History X? I once dated a guy who when I met him had the haircut in question.  His hair was very light so it looked even more awkward.  He appeared as though he was recovering from Chemotherapy.  I convinced him to let it grow out a little on top.  And what do you know; he has the most beautiful curly hair I ever had my hands in.  I was sure if our relationship ended, the Chemo-cut would rear its ugly head immediately, but to my shock he is still to this day sporting the hairdo I suggested and looking fabulous doing it.  There are only two specific exceptions to this rule.

  1. If you are in the military or in another profession where this haircut is required
  2. If you have a receding hairline/losing your hair and need to keep it super short to save your dignity.

This short buzz cut however, will accentuate your worst features.  For example, if you have a big nose, the super short hair will make your nose look even larger Pinocchio.  So think twice, you may be shortening the hair but what will you be adding length to in other areas?  Other than the two aforementioned scenarios, please just let your hair show.  In the ultimate compromise, I recommend going with what I have heard referred to as 3-2-1 cut.  ( i.e. a number 3 guard on top, 2 on the sides, and 1 around the edges)  This way you have at least a little length on top and you will not look like a permanent resident of Bellevue.  And whatever you do, do not cut your own hair or let a non-licensed professional cut it at home.  You will be sorry.

Quick Aside:  I do not mean to be a hater but stay away from Super Cuts.  I have seen only bad hair styles come out of there.  It is worth it for you to go to a reputable barber shop.

Not Your Friend

Photo Credit: By Denise Ann Frederick

Don’t you just love lazy days?  Today was one of those days for me.  I took a long walk down by the East River and enjoyed the view.  What men choose to wear on their days off I find telling.  I am starting to realize that men seem to be less aware of what makes them look fat.  Today I got to thinking about…

STRIPES

For as long as I can remember I have stuck to a strict mantra that says, “Horizontal stripes are not your friend.”  I do not care if you are as emaciated as Christian Bale’s character in The Machinist, you will look large in horizontal stripes.  It does not matter if your horizontally striped article of clothing is by a fancy expensive designer; the horizontal stripes will do you in every time Charlie Brown.   Unless you are dressing up as a jail-bird or you play professional rugby, leave the Where’s Waldo Shirts out of your wardrobe.  You must even tread carefully when it comes to vertical stripes.  A sharp pinstripe suit on a man can look quite dashing but please be weary of the Al Capone look.  Don’t overdo it.  I often see a lot of American flag striped shorts or bathing suits.  This too is a no-no.  I don’t care if Betsy Ross herself made your swim suit, say no to the American flag design at all costs.  When you want to wear stripes look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Will I be mistaken for a Foot Locker employee, a referee of any kind, or Apollo Creed circa 1976?”  If the answer is yes change your outfit immediately.

Quick Aside:  I know we are nearing Halloween which is an exciting time, however if you are wearing a striped suit and some one yells, “Hey Beetle Juice!” You are in trouble.

A Good Idea in Theory

Photo Credit: apparelnews.net

It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  Isn’t it amazing how many insane people there are, well, according to this definition?  What bothers me is how many men keep making the same fashion mistakes over and over and thinking they will at some point look chic.  More specifically…

SWEATER VESTS

Almost every store that sells men’s clothing from H & M to Bergdorf Goodman carries sweater vests.  The lesson of the day is; sweater vests are not for every man! Please don’t get me wrong, some men look amazing in them but you need to be aware of whether or not you are one of these men.   I asked a few guys what their take on sweater vests was and I got some interesting opinions.  My go-to-fashion expert said, “Sweater vests are for golf courses and right-wing political failures like Rick Santorum.”  Another guy I asked said, “I think only politicians and people with PhDs in agriculture or history wear them.”  Needless to say, both had very humorous responses.  The rule really is that if you are overweight then the answer is always no to sweater vests.  A lot of men think if they wear a sweater vest it will cover up their gut, but in reality it only makes it worse.  Contrary to the two aforementioned opinions, the sweater vest is not for any specific genre of men.  It really depends on your style and build.  I used to have a boyfriend who was not overweight and very handsome, yet he looked awful in sweater vests.  I did not believe him when he first told me this fashion fact and then he tried one on for me.  No matter what, he just couldn’t make the “sweater vest look” happen.  Looking back, I praise him for being self-aware enough to know this. So please do not continuously wear sweater vests if they do not enhance you in any way.  They look great on the hanger in the store, I know.  But much like Reaganomics or white carpeting; for some men they are only a good idea in theory.

Quick Aside: All girls love and all guys want to be Ferris Bueller ever since his infamous day off back in 1986.  But please, do not go for the “short sleeves under the sweater vest” look if you are over the age of 25.