Category Archives: Not Sexy

Silver Fox

At some point in every man’s life he will spot his first sign of age.  For some men it is extra weight for others a lack of stamina.  A man ageing gracefully is sexy and men always look distinguished as the years roll on.  One of the benefits of being a man getting older is that it never makes them look like an old washed up hag. Most all aspects of our appearance in this day in age can be altered, granting us the luxury of looking young forever.  So, the subject of the day is that of

GRAY HAIR

We all know once you spot one gray hair on your head, or anywhere else on your body for that matter, it is only the beginning.  Some men wear gray well such as Richard Gere in “Pretty Woman,” or George Clooney in “Ocean’s Eleven” or Anderson Cooper, well, all the time.  But if you are like most men who may not have the celebrity status or sex appeal of the three aforementioned silver foxes then you may want to dye those grays for a little while.  One of my boyfriends of the past had a head full of dark beautiful hair that was going a bit gray.  I suggested he dye it, and he was appalled of course!  However with my powers of persuasion I talked him into trying it just once.  I told him that if he hated it then it would grow out quickly and he never had to do it again.  The deal was fair enough so he agreed.   As it turns out he loved the new look.

When he saw himself in the mirror he was stunned to see that the short process of coloring his hair made such a colossal difference.  His exactly words were, “I just knocked 10 years right off!”  It’s so true.  Men do not have to let gray hair age them.  It is so easy to dye your hair, just get down to your local Duane Reade or CVS and buy a box of Just For Men hair dye, that is if you are not brave enough to go to the salon.  If you are not into that it’s ok  and understandable, (I am not going to lie, it is a lot of upkeep and many touch-ups are required) Like I said some men can really rock the gray sexy college professor look. However, I’d like to make one suggestion: gray hair on your head is one thing, but once it hits your facial hair it is time to shave the years away.  I love George Clooney, he had on an amazing Giorgio Armani tuxedo at this year’s Oscars that looked quite dapper, some might argue he was the best dressed man there and he had Stacy Keibler on his arm to boot! However, his gray face rug was the loser of the night.  (Please see my post from November 5th titled “Mountain Man” for my take on facial hair)  It was a shame; that gorgeous tuxedo was paired with a white old man beard.  Let’s face it, in this day in age, with society’s pressures,  can any man really afford to look older or to put it more bluntly, like they are yesterday’s news?  Do not make this gray hair mistake Gramps!  Know the difference between sexy salt and pepper and Hello Santa Claus!

“I’ve always said that gray hair looks good on everybody but yourself. To me, it  makes me look old.”~Kenny Rogers

2012 in Review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,500 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Out With the Old

wire-hangersHello everyone!  I must begin by apologizing for being absent for so long.  It was a hectic holiday season but I am back on track.  Thank you all for being loyal readers during my blogging career thus far. Every one loves the idea of a fresh start and I have always believed that it is never too late to start over.  So today I would like to suggest to all the men out there some fashion related

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

Now is the time to let go and leave behind all of our reckless wardrobe blunders and look towards more stylish days ahead.  First and foremost, you must take some time to access every piece of your clothing and I mean everything.  Look through all garments from socks to formal wear.  Get out a box for donation and get rid of anything that:

·        Does not fit (ie. items you promised yourself last year would fit you after you lost all the holiday weight)

·        Is ripped, torn, stained, stretched out, too faded, etc. (even old ratty gym clothes need to be replaced every once in a while)

·        Was a mistake to purchase in the first place (we all have impulse purchases)

·        A gift someone gave you that you’ll never wear (Thanks Aunt Lulu for this cool authentic suede vest with fringe, I can’t wait to wear it….NOT!)

·        You have not worn in the last year and never will (be honest with yourself)

·        Reminds you of your ex like a crappy old T-shirt they gave you (*exception unless the item is super stylish, expensive, and/or irreplaceable like a nice winter coat, and classy pair of gloves, or a fancy leather wallet, some items are timeless and never worth giving up!)

·        You bought for a specific occasion that never happened. (I guess that Cowboys and Indians theme party is not going to be rescheduled?)

·        You thought would look fabulous and you wore it once and then it looked horrible on. (ie. Some items look magnificent on the hanger but we must try on at all times before purchase…golden rule, don’t fight it)

·        Hand-me-downs that never quite made it onto your body (I loved my late uncle Earl but I really just don’t see myself wearing his purple velvet leisure suit that he left me)

how-to-design-a-mans-closet-1You must make room now in your attire for the fresh and new.  Get rid of the crap and clear the space for the fabulous!  Make sure to gather all your gift cards from the holiday and those you may have received throughout the year but did not have a chance to use. (Some gifts cards have expiration dates so be sure to use them!) January is one of the best if not the best time to shop.  All of the stores have the biggest sales and you can make outstanding purchases at a great price.  Take inventory of all the gifts you got over the holidays that you want to exchange. Don’t worry about hurting Aunt Peggy’s feelings, she will probably never notice.  Exchange that ugly sweater for something you really want and will wear. If you keep the ugly sweater to be diplomatic and never wear it, that is a fashion crime.  And while you are tossing things out, get rid of all wire hangers.  They are also a crime.

“Looking good isn’t self importance; it’s self respect.” ~Charles Hix

Excess Cargo

cargo-pantsJust a few nights ago I found myself working at a charity event.  I don’t have time on this forum to explain further but I was in Brooklyn working said event and I began talking to a young man.  I was supposed to be listening and advising but I was so distracted.  This college coed was talking to me and all I could think about was the fact that he was sporting an insane amount of…

POCKETS

It was like pocket palooza.   This guy was killing me! What was he thinking?  He had so many bells and whistles going on with his jacket; frankly it was reminiscent of a straight jacket.  There were so many pockets all over his shirt that it almost looked as if someone just tossed shards of fabric together without any thought put into it.  And the amount of pockets on his pants gave cargo pants a whole new meaning.  I almost reached out and started touching this kid’s pockets to see if they had anything in them.  From what I could tell they were all empty.  When did pocket covered clothing become acceptable?  The pocket is an amazing invention.  It allows us to carry things that we do not want others to see. But this guy was just way over the line.  Two pockets on your jacket, maybe one on your shirt, and four on your pants should be the absolute maximum.  Let’s be honest unless you are filling all of those pockets, ditch the excess Cargo.  An exorbitant amount of pockets covering your body will only make you look bulky and not in a good way.  You always want to strive for a sleek neat design, not an “I just returned home from a hunting trip” look.

Lasting Impressions

Personally, Holidays are not for me.  I am not much of a birthday/anniversary person either but that is a story for another day. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not one for tradition and definitely not what one might call traditional. I just can’t stand forced celebration and mandatory gatherings.  The whole thing stresses me out.  I always just want to stay home alone in my apartment and hide under the covers during holidays, but like most people I feel a sense of obligation and often wind up going to a family member’s home so that I can roll my eyes and hope the meal goes quickly and painlessly.  So, here I present the sometimes controversial topic of…

HOLIDAY ATTIRE

I have been to many holiday meals in my day and people treat holidays differently from family to family.  The thing is guys; you have to get dressed on the holidays.  Some men feel that if they are the ones hosting the holiday they are allowed to dress down, and they are dead wrong.  If you are hosting a holiday gathering you should be the best dressed one there.  Over the years many men have told me, “I just want to wear sweats and watch football.”  This is so barbaric to me and absolutely not sexy.  As much as we want to treat holidays like any other Sunday afternoon, we can’t.  So do not just toss on an outfit from the hamper that you would wear on any Sunday afternoon.  A lot of men like to wear softer pants so that there is room for more food.  Gross! Wear normal pants and don’t eat like a pig! At the very minimum, (and I really mean minimum) you should wear a fitted sleek polo shirt and your nicest pair of jeans.  Holidays are not the time for sweats, T-shirts, and white socks.  So don’t be such a lazy piece of shit and get dressed.  For some people the holidays are the only time of year that they see family.  Make a good impression that will last all year.

Quick Aside:  Holidays are not the time to be fashionably experimental.  You don’t want people saying for years to come, “Remember that Thanksgiving years ago when cousin Joey wore that outfit that made him look like he owned a chocolate factory…hahahahahaha”  Families have a way of reminding you of your most embarrassing moments and poorest choices… FOREVER, so don’t give them any ammunition.

Carte Blanche

Photo Credit: http://www.ehow.com

On any given day I’ll walk by a dozen gyms/yoga studios/fitness centers and the like.  Of course I always promise myself that one day I am going to be one of those people avidly working out day after day.  But alas, I am more the “order take-out and bitch about being out of shape” kind.  Although I do get myself to a yoga class every now and again, I don’t work out nearly as much as I should.  But there was a time in my life when I did.  Where is this rambling going?  Where else, but the topic of…

WORK OUT WEAR

In late September a reader, “Shirtless in the City” asked me about this very topic in response to my post about which clothes need to be retired and when.  He said he creates a gym pile for clothes that are no longer suitable for outings and/or work.  I will almost always say that when it comes to clothing you get what you pay for so spend your money wisely.  On the contrary however, when it comes to work out attire you don’t have to break the bank.  Just make sure you are comfortable and wearing breathable material.  But of course try to wear something that accentuates your best body features. When it’s time to sweat you still need to be cautious.  It is ok to wear and older T-shirt and a pair of worn sweats or shorts.  However, in terms of gym clothes; holes, rips, stains, and wrinkles need not apply.  Just because you are at the gym and getting sweaty does not give you carte blanche to look like hell.  And let’s be honest, what kind of people go to the gym?  Usually young, fit, sexy, tan people, (the fat pieces of crap are at home on the couch just thinking about how they wish they had the discipline to work out).  So you never know who you might meet.  You wouldn’t want to unexpectedly run into your boss or a crush looking unkept or dare I say gauche.

Quick Aside:  Please don’t wear spandex pants unless you are a runner, a cyclist or have a body that could be seen on the cover of Men’s Fitness

Tailored Accordingly

Anyone who has ever taking the subway in New York City in the morning on a weekday knows how crowded it can get.  If you are lucky, and perhaps getting on at the end of the line, you may even get a seat.  For those of you who take part in this ritual probably try to relax in preparation for the day ahead while sipping coffee and reading the paper.  Well, at least that is how they portray it in the movies right?  In reality, if I get a seat I know that I am going to get a face full of someone else’s crotch to go with my ride.  Obviously the people who were not fortunate enough to get a seat will stand so close to you and give you a full frontal view.  This happens to me all the time so I am used to it.  But the other day I was exposed to a guy wearing…

PLEATED PANTS

They were staring right at me during a morning ride on the subway.  Once again I was annoyed by a man’s choice in fashion.  I don’t know when pleated pants came about, became popular or went out of style.  I just know they have no place on a modern man.   I do not even see pleated pants in the stores anymore and for good reason.  They look awkward and they always have.  They for sure fall under the category of “not sexy.”  While I am a big fan of vintage clothing shops, I urge all men to never purchase pleated pants; used or new.  They say pleated pants give larger men or men with an athletic build more room, but I disagree.   The right pair of flat front pants should fit just fine and will look cleaner as well as more sophisticated. Just make sure you purchase the right size and have them tailored accordingly.  You want them to be fitted and sexy not showing all your goods.

Pets Not People

Photo Credit: oakorchardcanoe.com

It was another fabulous weekend here in New York City.  Thankfully the weather was cooperating so all the hip and happening folks were out and about.  My friends and I grabbed a late dinner at Mole on the lower west side and then we were off to The Village Tavern for drinks and shenanigans. There were so many young good-looking guys there.  It was one of my friends who noticed first that many men there were wearing…

FLEECE VESTS

What a turn off.  I know I already expressed my feelings on sweater vests but this is a horse of a completely different color.  I know people love fleece.  I am not sure where and when fleece became popular but I blame Old Navy.  I get it: fleece is soft, durable, washable, inexpensive, comes in an array of colors, and so on.  And just like anything else, fleece vests have their place, like on the slopes or camping for example. But for the most part fleece should be worn on pets not people and maybe for the occasional blanket.  Out at night in the city on the weekend is not where they belong.  It really annoys me when I see a guy wearing a nice collared button down shirt with a fleece sweater vest.  That is an incorrect juxtaposition of epic proportions.  You would never wear ripped jeans and a tuxedo jacket would you? No.  I guess the point is, do not mix casual wear with not so casual wear.  It looks awkward and fleece vests just look cheap and dingy. Put on a real jacket or a sweater for crying out loud.

Mountain Man

Last night my friends and I stayed local but had a wild post Halloween/post hurricane good time.  After a fabulous party we stopped at a local bar for a few drinks to wind down the night.  I wound up talking to a bearded guy.  I’ll spare you the details about how the night went with this guy and just ask all readers this question: What is your take on men’s…

FACIAL HAIR

I hate facial hair on men.  I feel it looks dirty, un-kept and lazy.  Some men slack off with shaving during a vacation or on a sluggish Sunday and that is understandable.  But for the most part my advice is to not be such a sloth and just shave.  I comprehend and agree with the mild stubble look and maybe an extremely groomed mustache but that is as far as it goes.  Over the years I have asked a lot of hairy faced men why they don’t shave.  They always say one of two things.  1- “It keeps my face warm” or 2, “It looks cool like John Lennon, Che Guevara, Abe Lincoln, Ernest Hemingway or even Jesus.”   Queue the eye roll.  I can’t stand when people compare themselves to others that they really can’t relate to but that’s a whole other topic.   Facial hair can be really serial killer/child molester creepy ie: Charles Manson, Bin Laden, Hitler, Stalin etc.  Even when I see Brad Pitt sporting that mountain man facial hair look I think he looks like he may as well be wearing shoes made out of duct tape and begging for money outside of the Port Authority.  So unless you are walking around with a blue ox named Babe or you are one of the stars in “Duck Dynasty” do yourself and every person you’ll ever kiss a favor and shave! And, salons are obviously for men too.  For all of you readers that are also New Yorkers check out this link. New York Magazine;Men’s Shaves. And while you are clicking away take a look at this site about What Facial Hair Says About a Man.

Quick Aside:  If you have a beard and it is going gray, you do not look more distinguished you just look old.  Get rid of it gramps.

Dashing in the Rain

Photo Credit: teddybearpages.com

I don’t know about all of you readers out there but I love a good hurricane.  It is so interesting how people react differently.  I heard of some people evacuating days prior and stocking up on food and batteries.  On the other hand I had to walk outside during the storm and saw kids flying kites in high-speed winds and others Bar-B-Que-ing on their apartment balconies.  For me, I look forward to the less desirable damp weather to check out the latest…

RAIN COATS

Now, I know when there is a hurricane, most people are not worried about looking dashing in the rain.  However, here in New York City where style is everything, you can still see some sexy looks during a dreary day.  I first noticed men’s rain gear back in 2005 when I took a trip to London.  Holy Moly do the men dress well across the pond.  All of the men seemed to dress head to toe in designer clothes at any given time.  Anyway, I digress.  For the sexiest rainy day look go for the Burberry Trench coat (black or tan).  It is quite pricey but if you invest in it now and you live in a wet climate, you will wear it for the rest of our life.  For a less expensive option try London Fog; named after the city where the men dress to kill and it rains almost every day.  Also, you may want to check out J. Crew for said trench coats.  Remember, often these items are only sold seasonally.  So you can not show up in November looking for one because they will have out all the winter parkas.  But then again you can always purchase online.  A few more points to consider…

  • While I very much respect people who work in the News Media profession they are always wearing those wind breakers in poor weather and on television no less.  Unless you are a coach, a soccer dad on the sidelines or a college campus tour guide you should not wear the wind breakers in rainy weather or ever.
  • We always look at little kids with fondness dressed in their bright yellow rain jackets.  This look is cute but it is for children and teddy bears.  Do not wear the bright yellow rain coat unless you are the Gorton’s Fisherman guy or Dick Tracy for that matter.
  • To piggy back off of the last point, all jackets made out of plastic, pleather or any other shiny cheap synthetic material are never allowed on any day.

So, the next time it pours or when the next hurricane hits, you want to think London chic and sexy Sherlock Holmes.  That guy always had it right.

Quick Aside: No one ever looked better or was cooler than Humphrey Bogart in the best rainy movie scene.  Notice his chic Trench Coat in this movie clip…Casablanca.